Season 7 Episode 9 Teen Mom Lets Try This Again
Well Juh-nelle, I see ya finally decided to evidence up on our TVs after takin' a week off to exist with ya boooooooyfriend!
After a week-long hiatus, Teen Mom 2 finally came dorsum, and MTV sure saved upward a lot of stuff to pack into this 60 minutes-long crapfest. We've got Babs-filled brawls, screaming kids and a whole lot of inappropriate food choices to cover, so allow'due south get started before The Ashley ends upwards passed out on her couch from all the stress (a la Leah).
The episode begins with Chelsea, who has her human Cole edifice her a shoe rack out of wood. Chelsea wants to assistance cut some forest and Cole agrees to let her if she wears safe goggles.
"First things first though, protection!" he says.
That seriously may be the only time in history that whatsoever human uttered those words on 'Teen Mom ii.'
Chelsea pulverizes the woods (huhuhuhuh) and and so tells Cole that Aubree has mentioned that she can't run into very well in schoolhouse. Chelsea'south worried that Aubree may demand glasses.
Afterward that dose of normalcy, we skip on over to North Carolina, where our favorite trainwreck Jenelle is enjoying an MTV-comped meal with her soulmate Keiffer Gary Courtland Nathan Lurch. Jenelle's pupils seem to be popping out of their sockets during this scene but it'southward probably just the way she put on her eyeliner that morn. Aye…that'due south it…
Jenelle tells Lurch that she wants to choice upwardly Jace from Babs, but Babs is hoping to but drop the kid off at Jenelle's Chaos Castle the side by side day, since she'll be in town. Of course, that idea is merely ridiculous to Jenelle and Lurch. Jenelle is actually upset about losing a whole day with her honey son.
Um….speaking of sons….where the hell is Kaiser? Does anyone else run into the irony in the fact that Jenelle and Lurch are out drinking margaritas in the center of the day, complaining about not seeing Jenelle'southward son, when Jenelle'south other son is MIA, most likely left at dwelling house with Trashbag Tori or some other local street-youth-turned-babysitter?!
Jenelle tells Lurch that as before long as she gets Jace dorsum, they're moving far, far away. I feel like this daughter has been singing that same vocal for six years now: "As Soon As I Become Jace Back: The Remix."
Lurch has been talking to Jenelle's previous love-of-her-life, Nathan, via texts, and obviously Nathan'south girlfriend Jessica has decided not to drop the assail charges against Jenelle.
"I told him it would be nice if she dropped the charges but if she didn't I'd understand," Jenelle says.
Seriously though: tin you imagine Jenelle ever actually proverb something similar this!? It's like her saying, "I'll never get engaged again." It.WOULD.NEVER.HAPPEN.
In Delaware, Kail is struggling to teach her son Lincoln that it'south non advisable to hit your blood brother and call him a "puta." Equally you lot do.
Javi, meanwhile, is still off saving the world, but he's able to have breaks from fighting ISIS and whatnot to FaceTime his random pal. He tells Random Pal that he's arranging for some of Kail'due south girlfriends to go to Delaware and pick Kail upwardly for a night of festivities. He's planning to go all the girls flowers and wine to prove his appreciation that Kail is taking care of the kids and house solo.
For some reason, Javi keeps talking similar Randy Jackson fromAmerican Idol during this conversation and calling everyone "dog."
Finally we check in with Leah and the gang. We start off at Corey and Miranda'south motel, where Corey's trying to pick out the girls' outfits for the next day.
Wait…what?! Picking out the girls' dress a whole day in advance? At Leah's they'd just scurry out the door in their pajamas and put on whatever outfit they could dig out from under the pile of trash, coats and little sisters. This is a whole new mode of life for them over at Corey'southward place!
Meanwhile, Leah is hanging out with "the other ane," Addy, and her female parent and mentor in parenting Mama Dawn. Addy asks her mom to fetch the cake icing from the fridge and so she tin snack on information technology. Fifty-fifty Leah questions if this is a good idea, only later on getting reassurance from Mama Dawn that icing is a perfectly acceptable snack for kids, she allows it.
Nonetheless, Mama Dawn insists that if Addy is going to guzzle icing, she at least needs to "set" at the table to practice it.
I mean, they're not hillbillies, guys! She's non gonna let her "set" on the burrow and eat icing! It wouldn't be proper!
As Addy happily pushes her blood sugar levels to amazing new heights, Leah and Mama Dawn talk about how happy they are that all the court stuff is at present over. During this time, Mama Dawn'south got her hair all fixed up looking like a marble cake! It'southward dark! It's blonde! It'due south a whole new look for Mama (nonetheless, her trusty wisp bangs however remain!)
Leah says she's non even bitter with Corey Tyler anymore. (Hell, she'd probably even be willing to become a round or two in the back of his truck at this point!) Leah says she wants to proceed her relationship with Corey in a positive place now that all the court stuff is over…
You see where this is going, don't you? It's kind of like when you're watching Survivor and someone states that there'south no possible way that they'll be voted out that night. And you know what happens every single time someone says that? They're voted out.
In Due south Dakota, Chelsea and Cole are preparing to boot-scoot the dark abroad with Chelsea'due south friends at a Jason Aldean concert. The gals accept got their pilus jacked upwardly to new heights and they're downing Mike'southward Hard Lemonades like there'southward no tomorrow! (This is much unlike than a night out at a concert with Jenelle and Trashbag Tori. Those ordinarily end in a mugshot and/or someone passed out confronting the urinal in the concert PortaPotties.)
For some reason, everyone's dressed like they hit up the post-Fourth of July sale at Old Navy. They arrive at the concert venue and nosotros find out that Chelsea & Co. take backstage passes to meet Jason Aldean. (That'south what happens when you lot get in with an MTV camera crew, y'all!) Surely, actualization on 'Teen Mom 2′ will be the lowlight of ol' Jason'south entire career.
As Chelsea waits in line to meet Jason, she asks Cole if it'due south OK if she has Jason sign her baby chute. As you do.
After Chelsea finds out that Jason's not willing to sign whatever sort of genitalia, regardless of how famous said genitalia is, she goes to meet the singer. He seems admittedly thrilled (and past that I mean "completely mortified") to encounter the teen mom and her friends.
They so head to their seats to watch the concert. We are treated to some awkward hand-held photographic camera shots of Chelsea and Cole singing nearly "boom-booming"…or something.
In Carolina, Jenelle has located Kaiser, who seems to be playing some sort of weird trust game with Jenelle. He stands dramatically on the couch and plummets, evidently expecting his mother to catch him. Of course, Jenelle doesn't and the kid falls hard off the couch and onto the flooring.
Meanwhile, Barb is chatting with Jace about life at Jenelle's place. Jace tells Babs that he merely sits at Jenelle's all twenty-four hour period and doesn't take whatsoever fun. He says they don't go do things while he'southward over in that location considering Jenelle and David are e'er locked in their room sleeping or…making illegitimate honey-children or something. Jace says that he spends about of his time hanging out with David'south daughter and watching videos.
Barb seems very concerned by what Jace is telling her. Jace even admits that being at Jenelle's is quite "spooky." Who can arraign the child for saying that, though? Imagine walking around the corner and seeing Lurch staring at you. [Shudder]
In Delaware, it'south virtually political party time for Kail and her contrasted friends. Considering Javi has paid for the gals to exit on the town later that night, the girls decide to bake cookies to send to Javi and his Air Force pals.
Unfortunately for our boys overseas, the cookies plough into a runny, pasty mess. (It kind of looks like what I'd imagine Farrah's sink looks like afterwards she washes off all her makeup.)
Subsequently that night, Kail and the girls head out for their Javi-funded night of fun. He's gone all out: ordering flowers for each girl and writing a prissy annotation for each of them. The girls are all impressed by Javi'south gesture, but shortly the talk turns to sex.
Kail's friend asks her how she feels about not getting to do the horizontal mambo at all, since Javi'due south away, and Kail tells u.s.a. that she'due south "taking intendance of business" via sex activity toys. They also talk well-nigh the perks of a removable shower head.
Ew. Also…ew.
Let's hop on over to West Virginia quick before the image of Kail & Co. pleasuring themselves with shower heads is permanently etched into our brains.
It's Thursday downwardly in the holler, so Aleeah is heading to cheer practice. With the new custody guild in identify, Leah is able to take her daughter to cheer and so take the girls dwelling with her that dark.
For some reason, Aleeah seems to be getting individual cheer lessons or something. There are no other kids around, except for Ali, who is heartbroken that she is no longer physically able to cheer. (Couldn't Leah have dropped Ali off with Mama Dawn instead of taking her to cheer and forcing her to see what she can't do? Mama Dawn could take "teached" her to pluck the banjo or something.)
Aleeah is actually becoming a pretty good gymnast, and Leah is standing on the sidelines, effulgent with pride. (Over/under on Leah becoming the "cool mom" from "Mean Girls" eventually? I've got money on Leah doing Aleeah's routine from the sidelines while filming information technology. That'southward so happening. Please, God, let Mama Dawn come out and do information technology alongside Leah!)
The side by side 24-hour interval, Leah is casually getting the post (conveniently on camera, of grade), when she discovers some sort of official document aslope the Walmart ads, Mary Kay booklets and Candy-of-the-Month Society renewal forms.
That's right, y'all! That gosh dern Corey Tyler is at information technology once more, and this fourth dimension he's washed sent Leah another custody form!
Manifestly, "The Law" doesn't recognize the concept of joint custodians, so information technology looks like Leah and Corey will be going back to courtroom all the same once more. It ain't over, y'all!
In South Dakota, Chelsea is taking Aubree to the middle doctor. Luckily, Other Chelsey just happens to work there, then Aubree feels more comfortable…until the doctor tells Aubree that she's going to put drops in her optics. Aubree starts to freak out, especially when the doctor tells her it's going to experience like to when you go water in your eyes in the pool.
Yup, that'll brand the kid really want to go along with your plan, Physician. Tell her that it'll feel like chlorinated water seeping into your centre sockets. Kids honey that.
Past now, Aubree's hiding her optics in Chelsea's shoulder and crying (and seemingly kicking the camera man in the assurance). She'due south terrified and trying to run away and screaming, "Don't exercise it!"
Why practise I accept the feeling this is what Jace does every time Barbara tries to put him in the car to go meet Jenelle?
Speaking of Jenelle, she has Jace for a nighttime, but all he wants to do is play Xbox. Jenelle'southward upset that Jace doesn't want to exercise anything else (like take "happy family" Instagram photos), so Jenelle tells the kids to go outside and play, and suddenly we flash to the next 24-hour interval. Jace and David's daughter are however exterior running around in the driveway.
Jenelle and Lurch are locked in "their" sleeping room when Babs shows up to choice up Jace.
"Oh hey, Juh-nelle!" she cackles as she observes an empty house. "I'm heee-ah!"
When she gets no answer from Jenelle, Barb starts to get concerned.
"Ya got all the kids outside and no i's watchin' them!" Barb yells.
Nosotros hear David tell Jenelle that Babs is screaming, and it appears that Jenelle says, "leave me lonely." The kids first filtering dorsum into the house and Barb asks them if the "adults" are sleeping. The kids ostend that Jenelle and David are probably snoozing (or boozing).
"Whatdya got her in prison, David!?" Babs screeches at the closed door. Finally David comes out of the room with Kaiser and tells Babs that Jenelle doesn't want to encounter her correct now and to go away and try again later.
Um…what is she, the Wizard of Oz? Jesus God (Leah)!
Babs is very upset that she can't see Jenelle, and David tells her to leave if she's going to yell at him in front of "all of his kids."
Did anyone else get a totally creepy shiver going up their cervix when he said that?
"Y'all're in MY house!" David says to Babs.
"You live here and she pays all the bills, but similar with every other guy!" Babs yells back.
David can't even deny this….he simply tells Babs to stop yelling.
"This is called child abuse!" David tells Babs every bit he points to Kaiser. "You're yelling in forepart of my child right at present."
UM!?!?!
Barb reminds David that Kaiser is the spawn of Nathan, and David says that Kaiser is basically his because he takes intendance of him every day. (Um?) Babs reminds David that he has "pendin' chaaaahrges" for domestic violence and David denies it.
Meanwhile, Jenelle has not come up out of the bedchamber to defend her mom (or her human being).
Because no "Very Special Episode" of 'Teen Mom two′ would be complete without a phone call to the cops, Lurch dials up The 9-1-1 to report that Babs is "trespassing" in "his" house. Those poor emergency operators are probably so sick of getting calls from Jenelle'due south diverse Hillbilly House(southward) of Horrors, they most probable take a dedicated line just for calls involving her.
David tells the operator that Barb is making him look like a bad person in forepart of all of his children. He slams the door in Babs' face, and she yells that she's charging him with attack for that. (Must everyone charge everyone for something on this bear witness?! Geez.)
She yells that Lurch is the worst boyfriend Jenelle's ever had (which, when you lot think of it, is quite a statement. Who could forget Creepy Kieffer or Courtland, the Common cold Sore King?!)
Soon, Babs has collected Jace and her other grandson and is heading outside to her caaaahr. She tells the cops that David had no need to call the cops. She leaves the house, proclaiming that she and Jace will not be back.
In W Virginia, Leah is confused nearly the papers she received from Corey's "laaaw-yer." She'due south attempting to wrangle all the youngins and read the papers, and it's just hard, y'all.
Meanwhile, Corey is talking to his dad, explaining to him what those papers were nearly. Apparently, Leah's "laaaw-yer" washed filled out the papers wrong, because only i parent tin be the primary custodian. There's no such affair as having joint custodians.
Corey'due south dad says that Leah has been in "turmoil" since the girls were born, and Corey agrees that information technology would be best if he remains their principal custodian, equally they've been properly fed and schooled while under his care.
In South Dakota, Aubree has settled downwards and apologized to the doctor for her tantrum. The doc tells Chelsea that Aubree needs a pair of spectacles, and Chelsea gets emotional. Aubree, all the same, is happy to have to wear spectacles all the time. They pick out some bright pink hipster frames and head out.
In Carolina, a disgruntled Babs is still trying to effigy out what the hell happened at Jenelle'southward house.
"No ane messes with Meme!" she tells Jace, just every bit Jenelle calls on the phone.
Jenelle says that she didn't want to talk to Affront, and that she is mad that the cops were called and there was a "huge scene" made in front of her neighbors.
Really, Jenelle!? We're worried about what the neighbors think? Tori probably passes out on their lawn at to the lowest degree three times a calendar week. They already know you guys are crapnozzles.
Babs brings up that she isn't the one who called the cops, and that it was Lurch that did the dialing. Jenelle says that Babs ruins her"whole unabridged day" every time they talk.
This seriously sounds like something a junior high schooler would tell her mom. This is just embarrassing.
Barb says she's worried about Jenelle because she's non acting like herself these days. (Actually? She's doing all of the regular "Jenelle-isms": screaming at her mom, speaking like a 13-yr-one-time and singing the "When I Go Jace Dorsum" song. Sounds like business as usual to me!)
Jenelle tells Babs that she's totally salubrious; in fact she works out at the gym 2 to three times a solar day "vigorously." (Looks like somebody constitute the "thesaurus" feature on their phone! That's a mighty large discussion for Jenelle!)
Jenelle hangs up on her mom, and then Barb asks Jace what really happens in Jenelle's Chaos Castle. Jace says that Mommy Dearest and Lurch are always in their room, and are always complaining about him being there.
Let's await at the facts: either Jace is telling the truth about his mom lament about his presence, or Jace is lying, knowing that if he says that to Barb, she won't let him go back over there. Either fashion, it's very sad!
The concluding scene takes identify in Westward Virginia. Leah's decorated vacuuming her AstroTurf carpeting when her sis Victoria comes in. Leah complains how hard it is to keep her dang house clean earlier launching into a tirade about the papers Corey has filed. She says that she thought things would exist getting ameliorate, but they aren't considering of Corey's objection to her being a joint custodian of the girls.
"I know enough of parents that's done joint custodian!" Leah says. "If you're both good parents and so at that place should be zilch wrong."
Um…well…
Leah says that Corey is doing this because he wants to be in control.
"To do what he'south done, to my kids, I don't care if he takes another breath!" Leah says.
Well, nothing like a death wish to end an episode on! Until next week, kids!
To read The Ashley's epitomize of the previous episode of 'Teen Mom 2,' click hither!
(Photos: MTV)
Source: https://www.theashleysrealityroundup.com/2016/05/23/teen-mom-2-season-7-episode-9-recap-calling-the-cops-the-great-icing-caper/
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